Several years ago I happened across the insightful writings of David Richo. His books have had a major impact upon me and I would like to share and briefly outline what he calls the five A's of genuine love. Reasonable fulfillment of our emotional needs calls for attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection and allowing. Seems so simple, doesn't it? Yet not easy to come by!
1. Attention from others leads to self-respect.
2. Acceptance engenders a sense of being inherently a good person.
3. Appreciation generates a sense of self-worth.
4. Affection makes us feel lovable.
5. Allowing gives us freedom to pursue our own deepest needs, values and wishes.
If a relationship is suffering, whether friend or lover, check to see if one or more of the five A's is being neglected or withheld. Thoughtful attention to one another may be all it takes to mend a hurt. A hug can be healing medicine. A sincere "thanks" or card of appreciation brings needed recognition.
May you give and receive the the five A's freely in your life!
Recommended reading: "How To Be An Adult In Relationships", and "The Five Things We Cannot Change" both by David Richo.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
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