Is sexual attraction a reliable indicator of compatibility? Certainly, there has to be a starting point at which we even become aware of someone, but beyond that, how much should we trust physical attraction? According to research by anthropologist Helen Fisher, PhD, there are physical markers that our senses become aware of that initially attract us to others who are a good genetic match. Fabulous! But for those of us who are not in mating mode, we no longer need to be with someone just to create genetically hardy offspring. Are we relying on out dated hardware encoded in our DNA to help us make these very important decisions?
Have you ever had the experience of not being sexually attracted to someone initially, and then over time developing a great relationship?--I have. Or conversely, dated someone with whom the magnetism was palpable, yet the relationship was a flop outside of the bedroom? Obviously, if you're only looking for a few nights of fireworks then you'd better start with a blazing torch!
Have you ever had the experience of not being sexually attracted to someone initially, and then over time developing a great relationship?--I have. Or conversely, dated someone with whom the magnetism was palpable, yet the relationship was a flop outside of the bedroom? Obviously, if you're only looking for a few nights of fireworks then you'd better start with a blazing torch!
But, if you want a fire that burns long and hot it might take some time and effort to get the embers glowing, metaphorically speaking.
I'd love to hear some feedback on this topic. How much need we rely upon initial attraction? Would you date some one just based on personality, and can that eventually lead to a balanced relationship with great sex? Comments and anecdotes welcome!
I think this insight is one every woman has at the end of a relationship. Somehow the wisdom of remembering it at the beginning of a relationship is lost in all the pheromones.
ReplyDeleteI know this is a scary thought for someone who is in a young relationship that is moving quickly (maybe too quickly) towards a permanent one.
I prefer the slow, sure, prodding toward something that I, as a woman think will be ltr. Men, however, I think are quite different and able to fully enjoy the explosive, fireworks fling without regrets!
ReplyDeleteI almost always rely on physical attraction, and it's gotten me into some fiery relationships which often degenerated over the longterm. In spite of this, however, I continue to let this force guide my decisions on who to pursue, a bit fatalistically. Hmm...
ReplyDeleteWhen I meet someone, I look for what I think their best attributes are. Looking for their best features allow me to get to "know" them faster as I'm not basing my feelings on just the initial attraction. There always needs to be some form of attraction physically, but personality,
ReplyDeleteintelligence and demeanor are what moves it forward OR NOT...
Animal magnetism is great, but may not stand the test of time. I'll take personality and intelligence every time. When you start really liking and respecting someone the sexual attraction can be born from that. Looks are great; laughs are better.
ReplyDelete