The One Thing I Can Promise You...

Many unknowns await us as we walk the path of getting to know someone. Joyful occasions, happy days and ordinary days. There is, however, one thing that will be an almost universal commonality and that is that we will fail one another. It is practically unavoidable, and yet, we seem so shocked when it happens in our own relationships. The one thing I can promise you is that if you get to know me very well I will fail to meet some of your expectations! There will be times when you need or desire something from me, or I from you, that is simply undeliverable. This being the fact, how can we move forward, mitigating the disappointment, and continue to grow in a loving relationship?

One possibility would be to try never to expect or need anything from anyone. Insulate and isolate yourself--not a healthy, adult response. For any healthy, happy relationship, one must identify what your expectations and limitations are realistically. Then, those expectations need to be communicated. Yes, that requires TALKING! We're not mind readers, you know! Clever? Yes, but not clairvoyant. Uncommunicated expectations will lead to disappointment. Propound those disappointments over time and the resulting anger will completely destroy intimacy.

I have known men that could put together international business deals worth hundreds of thousands of dollars requiring great finesse in communication and attention to detail. Yet, when it came to dealing with their personal relationships they claim not to be able to talk about it. What?!? How can a relationship survive without honest, open communication? How can I improve when I don't know where I'm failing you?

Only by revealing our deepest relationship desires and needs to our mate can we get the love and support we expect. No one person can fulfill all our ideals, but when we are willing to ask for what we want I can promise you another thing...you'll be giving your loved ones a chance to succeed rather than fail.